Realising Strengths
What if you could realise what makes you special and spend your life doing it? Take a moment and imagine what it would be like if you were to live and work in a way that feels true to you. You feel vital within yourself. Your relationships are thriving. Even though you work hard, it doesn’t feel like ‘hard work’ as it’s meaningful to you and valued by others. It feels like a gift for all of us.
At Traxiom, we believe that realising our value is what we were all born to do. And this view is shared by many others. Countless studies have been done on how expressing ourselves authentically has significant benefits to our wellbeing.
David Viscott was a psychiatrist who provided counselling on a radio show in the 1980s and 1990s. In 1993 he published a book of meditations that included this pearl of wisdom.
“The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The work of life is to develop it. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.”
Supporting you to be more ‘YOU’
Most of the coaching work we do with people is to help them be more of themselves. It’s kind of interesting when you think about it. It’s easier said than done to discover this special something that we all have. In fact, research shows that 2/3 of people are unaware of their strengths. (Linley 2008).
In the early days, it felt odd to explain that the focus of our business was to help people be more of themselves. However, the more we work with people, the more we’ve come to realise that it’s difficult to work this out alone.
In our work, we’ve come to realise that ‘to realise’ is something done in conjunction with others. We’ve found that the more we’ve been open to realisations, the less we’ve had to look for ‘the answer.’
It’s not something you can find directly from a book or podcast as there are no books that are written, or podcasts recorded about our personal life story.
We develop a sense of our own unique value in many ways, including:
living life,
having conversations,
reflecting on past experiences,
observing ourselves in interactions,
seeing what gifts others have and noting the differences.
These actions help us all understand each other. Because we all have something special to offer.
Starting with Strengths
Every person is unique. Understanding our strengths helps us understand our personal qualities and what we are here to bring. We express our strengths in three key ways – how we are in our being, what we do with them, and how we share them.
This can be summed up in the visual below.
Adapted from Ryan M. Niemiec’s “Character Strengths Interventions: A Field Guide for Practitioners”
Realising strengths helps us all flourish
When we focus on strengths we look at ‘what’s strong’ rather than ‘what’s wrong’. Research has shown that when we try to improve our weaknesses, it can limit our overall performance. It seems obvious; however, it’s amazing how often we try to work on what’s NOT working rather than build from a foundation of strength.
A survey of workers in New Zealand discovered that people who are highly aware of their strengths were 9 times more likely to flourish than those who were unaware. And people who used their strengths a lot were 18 times more likely to flourish. (Hone et al., 2019)
As we become more conscious of our strengths it helps us spot the strengths in others. The ripple effect of this has an exponentially positive impact.
Here are some things we’ve realised about strengths.
We are not just ‘one way’ i.e. creative. No one likes to be put in a box. We are not one-dimensional cardboard cutouts. We are multi-dimensional beings.
Each strength is on a continuum. Just like life, our strengths are not black or white. Let’s embrace all the colours.
Our strengths evolve based on our own unique experiences. Life throws us challenges and we can use these tests as an opportunity to expand our strengths or discover ones that we never thought we had.
Each person expresses strengths in their unique way. Everyone has an essence, personality traits, and a combination of strengths that is unique to them.
We use them in different contexts i.e. at home, at work. We are not one way at work and another way at home. It’s all ‘one-life’. Being authentic is when we show up consistently in all facets of life.
Our strengths are interdependent. The interplay between our strengths impacts how we contribute them. It might increase the impact of one or hold back the expression of another.
All strengths matter. There are no strengths that are more important than others.
Illustrated by Sally Campbell
Realising strengths can be challenging
If using our strengths makes such a positive impact for us, for others, and for society, then why don’t we all use them more? And why are so few people unaware of them?
There are 4 key reasons why people typically don’t realise the full potential of their strengths.
1) General unawareness
Many people aren’t aware of the full impact and benefit of using strengths, let alone have a clear understanding of their own strengths.
As an example, if we have the strength of humility, we don’t see it as a strength, as it’s ‘just us, being us’.
2) Disconnecting with the real meaning
People often don’t truly understand the benefit that strengths bring to them, to others, and maybe even to society.
What does the strength of honesty really provide? It allows people to trust and rely on us. It helps people not second guess what we say or do which can save time and angst. It might even restore people’s faith in others.
3) Dismissing or downplaying them
We are conditioned to believe that we need to ‘make an effort’ to provide value. Because playing to our strengths comes effortlessly to us, we tend to undervalue the importance of them to others. It’s good to remind ourselves that what comes easily to us might not be so easy for others.
For example, if we have the strength of forgiveness, we might not realise how much it supports us being able to accept, let go, and move on from hurt and frustration. Others might appreciate and be inspired by our ability to be able to forgive and may even follow our lead.
4) Overusing them to our detriment
It IS possible to have too much of a ‘good thing’. When we overplay our strengths, it can be limiting and have a negative impact. In fact, strengths overused to an extreme can become an interference (or weakness). Often, when we’re reacting to something we might overuse our strengths. This could be because we are lacking in resources or feeling fearful or anxious.
Look carefully at someone’s so-called weakness and if you turn it around you might discover that it’s possibly a strength that’s being overplayed.
For example, if we overplay prudence, our aversion to risk can stop us from starting, moving forward, or completing something. Rather than judging our inability to act, another option is to ask, ‘is it possible I might be overplaying prudence?’
Want some support?
One of our core philosophies is to meet people where they’re at and build from there. Because of this, we don’t propose that there is only ONE WAY of doing anything. However, we know that focusing on strengths works and it can either be a good starting point, or a way to deepen your awareness of yourself.
If you’d like support in realising your strengths, we’d love to help.